Friday, July 18, 2008

About Face! Observations from Corporate Comedians

A professional acquaintance of ours recently had a consulting contract with a sizable company. She sent one of her team members, Cindy, to work on the project, and after several months Cindy produced record results. She surpassed all expectations and delivered the best numbers the company had ever experienced.

Later, when another project came up for the company, our colleague said, "Since Cindy produced such great results, I’ll assume you would like to work with her again."

Their response: "Actually, no."

Our colleague was surprised. "Really? She had the best results in your company’s history. Why don't you want her again?"

Their response: "We just didn't see her enough."

After all of Cindy's hard work, it didn't come down to results. What ultimately mattered: facetime. They just wanted to see her face.

Here’s the good news for the inept: Since many organizations focus on time rather than results, this means that you don't even have to be good. You just have to be THERE.

It's about "face."

So show your face! Show it everywhere, show it often! Here are some tips for how to show your face as much as possible, and even get ahead where you work:

1) When you leave for lunch, paste a photo of yourself to your chair at your desk, so people will see your face while you're gone. They will assume that even though you aren't there, you really are.

2) Bringing a sleeping bag and spend a couple of nights a week camping on the premises. If you can sleep in your boss's office all the long as your face is there.

3) During the company Halloween party, make a mask of your own face which you will wear over you're real face. That way you will have twice the face appearance, and get paid overtime that week.

4) Go for an entire month without doing any actual work, but show up early and leave late every day. When your superiors ask you why you haven't gotten your work done, simply say, "but I was here, wasn't I?" They will reply, "Oh...yeah, you were. Ok, nevermind."

As Corporate Comedians, The O'Shea Report offers corporate comedy, business humor, and motivational humor keynotes for meetings and conventions.

1 comment:

HappyOne said...

Oh so true! I switched to a flexible schedule to accomodate my child's special needs and at raise time, I was passed over in spite of having received the highest honor available to exempt team members that year. After 6 months and involving Human Resources, I was finally told that when looking at who would receive increases, I had recieved adequate compensation in their opinion because I worked short hours. Forget the fact that I often started my days here at 4a.m. and came back between 8pm and midnight - I had left at 2 pm each day and they weren't here to see my face at the odd hours so it didn't count! And my child did often sleep here - guess I'll move her into the boss's office next time and be sure to leave food wrappers and dirty laundry behind along with the drawings she often makes for him!